Grief is a process -- not a race

C.S. Lewis said; losing a love one is like having your leg amputated. You don't get over an amputated leg. The wound may heal, but the leg will never grow back. You'll always have that absence in your life, and you'll always walk with a limp.
Mr. Lewis I totally agree. I have lost many a loved one over my brief stay here on earth, and I feel like I need a wheel chair. The loss of my sister was my first amputation and it hurt. Then my grandparents which were closer to me than my parents at one time. Next my Father passed away; there goes more of my past. Not too long after him my Mother passed away; now any proof of former memories are gone. Finally no more than 11 weeks ago I lost my best friend, my love, my wife. All the loss before losing Shawna could not compare to the loss of losing her.
My feelings most days are like one who has been cut in half. All around me my soul gives way, but Jesus is all my hope and stay. When my sorrows like sea billows roll, I can say it is well, yes it is well with my soul. The bottom fall out on me quite often, but Christ has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me. What more do I need to carry out my days for His glory.
In many ways I envy Shawna. She has left this life; this life that we as Christians call death, but those who that are without hope in the world call life; to enter life eternal the REAL life. In His presence is the fullness of Joy, in His right hand there are pleasures forever. Praise God for making a way for ruined sinners.
In my grief and sorrow, I call upon the name of the LORD who is worthy to be praised. Because His loving kindness is better than life, my lips will praise Him. I seek Him earnestly to take refuge in Him, and to taste and see that the LORD is good. When my pain is at it's worst and the feeling of loss seem to know no end, I hope in Him. I hope and seek His loving kindness, and His joy fills my heart with praise. I can really say with David, I sought the Lord, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.
So what am I an amputee? No Jesus has made me whole again. The reality of loss is very near to me each and every day but He is nearer. I cry, but He is there and He wipes away all my tears and comforts all my fears. So when it hurts real bad I turn to His most excellent Word; O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders. Plans from long ago with perfect faithfulness.

- Aaron